Monday, July 27, 2009

The Moon Milestone

Seems like something cosmic is going on, at least for me. In the same short time span, our country celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 lunar landing, I launched my web page with the moon theme and the idea of "one giant step" and at the same time I was reading "The Last Lecture," in which Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who gave a dynamic speech before he died of cancer described in one part of his book the overall importance of the moon landing--that the expense and effort was worth it, because in his words, "When you're putting people on the moon, you're inspiring all of us to achieve the maximum of human potential, which is how our greatest problems will eventually be solved." (I LOVED this book and will write more about Randy Pausch's look on life at another time, believe me).

I believe Pausch is right. If we can't dream and conquer, we're losing a part of our humanity that makes any goals seem doable. It's amazing what can be accomplished when our minds are set to it.

When I put this blog together, I hadn't been thinking about the upcoming anniversary of Apollo 11, and although there was a rocket ship on the front cover of "The Last Lecture," I hadn't gotten far enough into Pausch's book/lecture to realize how seriously he viewed and applied inspirational events in his life.

But putting all these things together makes me realize how wondrous the world really is, and what my role should be in it.

For me, the moon has been, as long as I can remember, a dreamy fantastic thing. I remember being a three year old, running from room to room in my home, peeking out each window to see that the moon appeared to be "following" me. Other objects, like the car in the driveway, etc. were best viewed from a certain window--but the moon always looked the same. I was both thrilled and a little scared that the moon could follow me! (Obviously, I hadn't grasped the idea that the moon was a lot further away than the car and this was a illusion).

Nevertheless, the moon had a mystic, comforting quality for me from my early days on. I remember seeing it at different times of my life. A misty moon shrouded by clouds looked spooky when we looked out the window from a friends' sleepover; the full moon on a spring night during a romantic date; the yellow harvest moon filling up the sky on a high school hayride; a moon that looked like an orange slice one Indian Summer night at Great America with my husband; watching the moon "rise" behind pine trees on a mountain with my kids on the last night of our vacation; gazing out at the full moon making the snow glitter like daylight one Christmas Eve as my children slept in anticipation of the following morning; the gorgeous half-moon I saw in the dawn hours the day I found out I was pregnant with my son; the sliver moon that looks like a Cheshire cat grin that delights my daughter. Heck, I was even married the night of a full moon. And there are many, many more moon memories for me.

Each memory is a meaningful reflection in my life, and the moon is a companion of sorts that has seen me through all of these events. But now with the idea of goal-setting and inspiration in my mind, perhaps I should start viewing the moon as a way to see if my goals have been reached, too. It would bring about a new way to look forward to each cycle of the moon.

This idea is nothing new; the ancients measured time, hunting, planting crops and many other things important to their societies by the pattern of the moon. Making the connection to another time and people feels intriguing to me.

Or, is it better to be mindful of the moon as I always have been--as a milestone keeper of things that simply occur in my life, without my choosing anything in particular to happen on the nights I see it. I certainly have many wonderful memories this way!

I'll give it some thought. One thing for sure--I feel blessed that I was able to enjoy this simple beautiful thing all my life. The moon has been an inspiration to mankind forever, whether it be for practical purposes like planting or hunting, romantic notions for writing love letters, poetry or songs, or as an inspiration for technology. You may have heard "stop and smell the roses." Well, stop and take a look up at the night time sky and gaze up--the eye of the moon is gazing back at you--and make your own memory, or set a goal 'til the next time you see that phase of the moon!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Is The "Unwritten Book" worth writing?

Sometimes when you're on a mission to try something new, you run into stumbling blocks that make you wonder if you've made the right choice to continue. It's easier to just give up and think "why bother?" But you should bother. Pursuing the goal is worth it, whether the trouble you meet on the way is big or small.

As you have by now noticed, the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield plays when you visit my blog. I put it on this page because I think the lyrics are beautiful and inspirational--and because Natasha's a good singer. Take a listen.
It's a great song for anyone ready to take charge of themselves, take on a new challenge, and go do it, no matter how old you are or what you're trying to achieve. I feel completely motivated every time I hear it!
I thought this song would be perfect to help personify what I'm trying to do with my new blog--especially since it uses writing as a metaphor.
So last week after I designed my blog page and wrote my first entry, I felt pretty good about having this cool black web page with an awesome picture of the moon (a very inspirational object to me) and a not-so-bad introductory blog.
Now all I needed was a song to set the mood--I had a couple of choices going through my head, but felt Natasha's was the best.
I had to read up on how to install the music since I'd never done it before. As I was doing all of this, my sleepy-head kids woke up. They are eight (daughter) and five years old (son), and while I'm trying to teach them the fundamentals of reaching for dreams, they didn't quite get the reason I created a blog--even my daughter who hopes to be an author was only mildly interested. They wanted breakfast and they wanted Mom.
I ushered them on to get their own things out for breakfast, which they did. I was sure I could wrap up quickly.
But, several attempts to install the music failed. There were two ways to install the programming script for the song on my page. I tried one that didn't work, so I tried the other.
Meanwhile, I was also on a web site that I was getting Natasha's song from, and the song kept playing on a loop as I read and re-read the download and upload instructions. At first the kids really liked it. But as I kept making attempts to get the song script on my blog, they came in from the kitchen saying: "OK, HOW many MORE times are you gonna play that song???"
Eventually--voila!---I got the song on my page--except now the two different methods to get the script on the page worked--so I had two versions of Natasha singing "Unwritten" at different times, and the kids came in again.
Poor Natasha was belting out her song and drowning herself out as the two versions played, and the kids came in with their hands over their ears in protest of the cacophony.
"Mom, what are you doing???" they bellowed. "I'm creating a blog!" I replied, though now this was seeming like more trouble than it was worth.
Son: "What's a blog"
Mom: "A place where people can write stuff, like a diary, except other people can see it if they want to."
Son: "Like who will want to read it?"
Mom: "Anyone on the Internet who finds the subjects interesting--I can tell friends, maybe set up ads to draw traffic."
Daughter: "I don't know, I'm not sure anyone's really gonna do that. Do you think your subjects are really interesting?"
Son: "What's a subject?"
Mom: "Well, lots of people have blogs, honey, and they do get people to visit them"
Daughter: "Oookaaay, if you say so."
Son: "What kind of traffic will you get? Will they really have cars, like will I see Transformers on your blop?"
Mom: "It's called a 'blog' not a 'blop'"
Son: "Whatever. Will I see Transformers?"
So this was not quite the positive feedback I was hoping for. Not that I was expecting my kids to provide it, but the whole thing did seem like a bit of a mess. Then I wondered why I was really bothering.
But after the conversation with my kids and after they had scampered away to cause trouble elsewhere in the house, I found a way to successfully post the single song script for Natasha, and when I launched my corrected page, I liked it. It was a statement. And Natasha's song played beautifully.
I listened to her words and felt inspired again. This blog is, above all, my space to put down my thoughts. Others are welcome to read it--but just creating the page was my mini-accomplishment for the day. It didn't go as smoothly as I wanted it to, but in the end, I think creating and maintaining this blog is worth it. It will serve as place to keep my thoughts, where I can exercise my writing skills and maybe one day I'll want to show the posts to an editor, etc., when I'm ready to pursue a writing career again--this time hopefully on what I truly want to write about.
Each day is new and unwritten--we don't know where it will take us--but it's worth taking note of what gets put on the page for us everyday, even if it's not perfect--there's always something to learn.


"Unwritten" lyrics
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh, oh I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines
We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, yeah, yeah

Monday, July 13, 2009

Free Em Inem music at dizzler.com

Of writing, strippers and shooting for the moon

One small step for this woman, one giant leap for inhibited creatives everywhere...

I'm not landing on the moon, but am feeling the thrill/anxiety of doing something new, and putting myself "at risk."

I finally started a blog.

Many "editorials" ruminate in my mind all the time from my life experiences, and since I'm prone to writing, I should have started a blog a long time ago.

So I'm thrilled to take that first small step to openly communicate my thoughts. I will have the opportunity to write things as I see them, and see what other people think, good (yippee!) or bad (gasp!).

I will now finally be my own editorialist, my own ombudsmen. I will put out my thoughts for anyone to read! The thought of this is exhilarating!

However, with this freedom to express comes the other side of it--the side most of us don't want to face--the opportunity for criticism, both reasonable and potentially hurtful just for the hell of it.

It is the price we pay when any of us becomes public. Actors, sports figures, politicians and of course, writers, all take a risk when they unveil themselves in one fashion or another to the public. Everyone dreams of the glory. They need to be prepared for the grief.

I had read that Diablo Cody, Oscar winning screenplay author of the movie "Juno" said that she felt "more naked writing than I did as a stripper," which I sincerely couldn't have imagined.

She has a point--you can exercise your body, make it beautiful, create a unique style for yourself and become a persona for a "character" that you portray as a stripper--something to hide behind even as the clothes are dropped off. But when you do something artistic that shows who you are from the inside, you're taking a much bigger risk--you are exposing much more of yourself. Again, I never would've thought of this comparison, but I get it.

In my blog, I intend to reveal parts of myself--my opinions, my reflections and my beliefs--very personal thoughts that make up who I am. Why would I want to share so much of myself in a public way?

The answer to that is that I feel drawn to reveal thoughts I believe are worth reading. As a middle-aged woman (gah! I don't like to admit that!) I have given my life a lot of thought, and have asked myself over and over what I believe my strengths are, what do I want my professional legacy to be?

The answer is that I believe my useful purpose on this planet is to give people things to think about in one form or another--ways to get them to think about life and challenge them to think differently. The ways I think I can do this are through writing, acting and perhaps one day teaching/lecturing.

For me, this is the key to living--having your mind opened to thoughts you never even knew you could have. When someone does this, they are on the continual journey to making themselves a better person, and when one person becomes better, everyone they come in contact with becomes better, too.

So I will write about what is meaningful to me, and I will see what others think. I will hope to give meaning to things that a reader may never have considered, and I will surely learn as much from the comments left regarding my posts.

In truth, I may not learn as much from the posts of those who compliment and agree with me. I will definitely learn from those who present a reasonable, respectful difference of opinion.

The journey to the moon wasn't an easy one for those first pioneering astronauts. Why should my personal trek to shoot for my own moon be any different? It's time to embrace the fear and uncertainty of what this adventure will bring, and I at last hope I am ready.

BLAST OFF!!!!!